I have been a father for a whole month now. It really, really doesn’t feel like it, but the calendar doesn’t lie. Or so I’ve been told.
Before I go on a tangent about not trusting calendars, I wanted to talk about some things I’ve learned in this first month that I either didn’t know or didn’t appreciate before.
I don’t have it, but The Wife does. She’s pretty impressive. I… mostly turn into the Hulk when I’ve not slept.
2. Babies CAN be cuter than cats.
I didn’t think this would ever be true for me, but at the very least I find my baby adorable. And I’m much more likely to grab baby-variant covers than cat-variant covers of comics…
3. It doesn’t require x-ray vision to tell when a diaper change is needed.
Seriously. If you didn’t hear it happen, you’ll definitely smell it by a month in. The first few weeks were mostly odor-free, but this current plot twist stinks.
4. Babies have more outfits than Spider-Man has costumes (that’s saying something).
Strangely, I’ve noticed a bigger selection of boy clothing than girl clothing, but I may be prejudiced/shopping in the wrong area. Either way, Lorelai has more clothes than the Wife or me, and that includes a super hero (Batgirl) costume!
|So. Many. Cloths.|
5. Hand-me-downs are AWESOME.
I used to think getting folks' old, used comics was pretty awesome. Now I’m all about the baby clothes and accessories – new old stuff is freaking awesome!
6. At this point, babies are like Oscar the Grouch.
They’re loud, they don’t like anything, and they smell. Doctor Grant was right…
7. Getting pooped on isn’t all that bad.
Don’t have anything witty here, just as surprised as you to find this is true. Just know it’ll happen.
8. Baby crying > Kryptonite.
Woof. At one month you can’t really tell if the baby is crying because she’s hungry, hurt, or just uncomfortable. And the volume is really picking up. You’ll try everything, from burping to bouncing to 4:00am walks in the Ergo, but there is no easy or surefire fix. And, just like Kryptonite in the comics, there’s going to be a ton of it…
9. Super Soldier Serum is really coffee, energy drinks, and straight caffeine.
On those nights when I barely make three hours of sleep, I’ve found that an Amp or a large coffee can keep me feeling like Captain America. Otherwise, I kind of feel like Swamp Thing.
|We're out of coffee!?|
10. Having a good partner is the most important thing there is.
I’m extremely lucky to be married to such a wonderful mom. I certainly couldn't have done any of this without her – I’m really more of a sidekick at this point than anything. Hopefully, when Lorelai is older and able to, I don’t know, hold a conversation, I can get promoted from Robin to Nightwing. Hopefully.
I imagine this will be the first post of many. We’re one month down and… forever to go?
Now, about those calendars…