5 Cures for the Super Summertime Blues

Sure, the colors are prob Photoshopped, but still looks better than Man of Steel

Usually whenever I'm in the ocean or a pool the feeling of weightlessness and ease of movement reminds me of the strange visitor from the planet Krypton. The height of Summer should be spotlight on sweet soul music and the superhero powered by hope and the same sun that will likely give me skin cancer if I don't keep applying the 50 SPF. Hope, I say.

Batman fares better in Gotham like New York "below Fourteenth Street at eleven minutes past midnight on the coldest night in November" according to Denny O'Neil. Maybe that's why I heard the Batmobile sucks in the new Arkham game and the identity of the Arkham Knight is gag worthy. No spoilers from me.

So, Superman  keep us cool and calm in these days of record breaking heat and political idiots.

What I want in the Bat Wardrobe for Batman: Arkham Knight

Sell More Toys!

The Batman Iron Man look just doesn't do it for me. I understand the developers wanted Batman to match the Batmobile, but that's an awful marriage idea. If I was Alfred I wouldn't have advised Bruce to apply chrome shine to the work clothes. It's very Robocop and maybe that's coming full circle since there's a helluva a lot The Dark Knight Returns in the greatest film of 1987! I wish the cape wasn't so far away from the neck. I wish for once outside of comics and traditional animation and Adam West the cape could fully encircle Batman and be attached to the cowl. Gripes aside, I'm greatly anticipating racing through the streets of Gotham in the Bat Tank in Arkham Knight. But that suit...  give me a nomex survival suit any day over the Shining.

Arrow Season 3 in Review

Another season of TV's Arrow has come and gone. Despite the mostly flawless Daredevil by Netflix still fresh in the mind, DC made a valiant effort of saturating public TV with their continuing hit Arrow and the debuts of The Flash, Gotham, iZombie, and apparently short lived Constantine. With the future looking even braver and bolder (forgive the ref) for DC on the small screen with Legends of Tomorrow (Can't call it Justice League) and Supergirl (OMG a black Jimmy Olsen, please chill out Klansman), I guess I can be grateful Mad Men is ending because I don't know how I can possibly watch this much TV, but I'm here to account on the archery skill of Arrow: S3. Compared to it's second season, there was quite a bit to be desired, but overall Ollie and company did not "FAIL THIS CITY"!

Seven Sexy Things about 70's Batman

Dames, demons, and Bruce Springsteen's Darkness on the Edge of Town. That's 1978, baby. Camp is dead. Frank Miller (big fan of Springsteen too) studying under the master sensei, Denny O'Neil. Batman is in his prime thanks to combining Clint Eastwood, James Bond, and Indiana Jones (predating 1981's Raiders of the Lost Ark) into the Dark Knight Detective. And here's how O'Neil, Adams, Len Wein, Steve Englehart, Marshal Rogers, Jim Aparo, Bob Haney, and company did it!

Spider-Man Vs Ayn Rand... and Why the Greatest Spidey Movie Will Never Get Made

The Color of Money isn't just a Tom Cruise and Newman salad dressing film about the secret origin of Mark Millar and Grant Morrison's bromance breakup, but also a permanent shade in the wardrobe of Spider-Man's rogues. The Sinister Six could change their names to 6 Shades of blah if NuMarvel ever wanted to experiment with topical humor...

Odd man out Kraven missed dress rehearsal

Sweet Mountain Dew green was the choice for Doctor Octopus, the Lizard, Green Goblin, Scorpion, Vulture, Electro, Sandman, Mysterio, and those are just the ones created by Steve Ditko and Stan Lee.

Two Blonde Dudes

I might have said something about finishing my dark heart of the soul analysis of Twin Peaks as a reworking of Peter Pan, but that shit be dark and depressing, and I got a little weekend getaway in Kyoto planned, so I felt more emotionally comfortable blogging about two white bread characters. Just be grateful I didn't have the time to include other blondes like Barry Allen (now a brunet on the CW), John Constantine (dyed thanks to NBC), or Animal Man

The Brave, the Bold, and the Blonde gender bender await after the jump!

Peter Pan: Twin Peaks for Kids Part 1 of 2

“Peter Pan flew with children, Lois...in a fairy tale.” So spoke Christopher Reeve, who made us believe a man (not an actress portraying a male youth) could fly. That poignant scene between two consenting adults is why I got problems with Steven Spielberg's Hook. 

Robin V Superman

Sure, Robin Williams was a brilliant actor working alongside one of cinema’s most talented, the director of Jaws, E.T., Indian Jones and The Shia LaBeouf Abortion that Never Happened. No one’s perfect. Hook’s insurmountable hurdle was having a cinematic adult Peter Pan in a time after 1938. Superman isn’t Peter Pan for adults. Superman is almost the Anti-Pan. The character’s story is mostly about growing up, not with reluctance, but on a cosmic folk tale level of adventure, which Smallville failed at showing for 10 long years. From a baby on Krypton to stumbling awkward blue collar young man in a big city, to romance with Lois, Superman reflects the experience of becoming and steadily continuing life in the daily grind of adulthood with super heroics as set dressing, much in the same way how those great early Spider-Man comics dealt with adolescence. Superman is an aspiration, not in regards to biceps, but for morality, humility, and conduct. The only documented case I’m aware of a grown man who wished he was Peter Pan was a so called king of Pop. I’m sure he was never associated with accusations of child abuse, right?

Just saying, Peter Pan is messed up!

So what does Peter Pan have to do with incest and Twin Peaks? If you type in a search for TP and PP together you’ll mostly just get links about Johnny Thorne’s favorite book. Johnny was a mentally handicapped man tutored by Laura Palmer. It seems to be Lynch showing his hand, but being very coy about doing a modern reinterpretation of the children’s classic tale. One could argue that is a little too vague for the director when compared to Wild at Heart’s strong connection to The Wizard of Oz, but does Marilyn Monroe’s life immediately jump to mind after watching Mulholland Drive? Regardless, let us strap on our Alan Moore goggles and slit the tender throat of innocence. 

Must See Fall TV

Gotham's one honest cop, Robin Hood, Flash Fact, WWJConstantine smoke?

JC smokes silk cuts. NBCensorshit.

It’s a unique utopia we live in, when two pilots for new series can be viewed online months prior to their debut later this year. Of course what I’m writing about is DC Entertainment’s The Flash & Constantine. I’m not going to bother reviewing either as of now, but I want to comment on what I think is a step in the right direction for live action DC. While some fans fret over the fact that DC is running far behind  Marvel in developing a shared cinematic universe, it’s important to remember a clear difference in the development and strengths of both companies.

Against the Death Penalty

Social Crusader and Sci-Fi Adventurer

How do you make Superman relatable? 

 

If you answered one of the following below than you may have gotten a closer representation of the American icon after viewing last year’s Man of Steel than the one I believe in.

            Chris Cornell background music brooder

            Budweiser beer drinker

            Getting called “dick spaz” as an adolescent

            Letting Dances with Wolves become Dances with Twister

            Jesus (Gotta hit the audience on the head with that one multiple times. Subtlety is lost on Snyder)

            Smile only once in costume

            Snap the villain’s neck (A little at odds with the whole “He’s really Jesus” thing, no?

            Snap the villain’s neck

            Snap the villain’s neck

                   Neck. Snap.

An Honest Stand; Marvel Masterworks: The Black Panther Vol. 1

“HE IS NOT A SYMBOLIC CHRIST! FORGET ABOUT TURNING HIS FLESH AND BLOOD INTO SOME ESOTERIC ALLUSION TO THE PERSECUTION OF CONTEMPORARY MAN… THE FLAMES WHICH CONSUME THE CROSS AND HIS BODY PROVE HIS HUMANITY”—From “A Cross Burning Darkly Blackening the Night!” in Jungle Action #21, May 1976. 

The KKK Can't Take My Baby Away

If Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams helped pave the way for Frank Miller, then Don McGregor, Billy Graham and the rest of the talent behind “Panther’s Rage” and “The Panther Vs. The Klan” set the bar for the much admired literary writers of the Brit Invasion almost a decade later to pursue. There’s no reason why these 18 comics should not be mentioned in the same breath as Watchmen, The Dark Knight Returns, or Sandman.

Beat on the Bat: 4 Scenes from Batman Begins Part1

Without a doubt The Dark Knight trilogy stands alongside Back to the Future in terms of each film in the series being one of my personal favorites by continuing to astonish me in most aspects of production while never losing my interest during each viewing. Batman Begins is a well of detailed and engrossing character study. Never before was Bruce Wayne treated as sympathetic or heroic in any of the past Burton or Schumacher Batman films as he clearly is in the 2005 reboot. Nolan and crew got it right. No Bat nipples, black ooze spewing Penguin, Alfred letting Vicki into the Batcave, or Batman taking lives! They made sure to keep the focus on Bruce Wayne. As a result they created a great film. Sure it's a great superhero flick, but it didn't really on gimmicks.

I remember purchasing a trade paperback of an assortment of Bat tales at a mall bookstore a couple of years after the film debuted and the elderly cashier woman mentioned that although she never read Batman comics, she quite enjoyed the Batman Begins. So join me as a recollect some of my favorite scenes. I hope they were some of Doris' too. Continue on after the break.

Lyco's Back

You can’t keep a good bastich down for long. Here to  rant, rave, and foam at the mouth with outdated updates for your Pop Culture fix. Here to spike your veins for comics, TV, food (WTF), and games along with me is Special Guest Star, the ever lovable Lobo! As sassy Peter Parker's Aunt May would proclaim, he's a real pussy willow! Stan Lee's favorite DC character... Alzheimer's is a serious issue facing our world. For more information please the Main Man at your own peril after the jump.

1-2-3-4-Beat on the Bat: Favorite Bat Comics Pt1

Coming Soon to a Theater in 2015! Minus the Damon!

Take a chill pill and remember the casting of Michael Keaton for Batman, Heath Ledger as the Joker, Ann Hathaway as Catwoman, and Daniel Craig for James "Blonde". The fan reaction was just a tad ridiculous in hindsight, right? I'll admit Ben wouldn't have been my first choice for an older Batman (Karl Urban), and if WB wanted a Batman who could do a Boston accent flawlessly I'm insulted I wasn't considered despite being too young, but I'll wait and see before assuming Affleck will tank the film. Most of the hate is probably due to wanting to make yourself hate the most popular dude in school. I recently watched The Town I was more than impressed with his directing and acting, which is a feat in and of itself, especially when directing an action film. So don't despair. BATMAN AND ROBIN WILL NEVER DIE! Which is what I plan to prove after the Batsui Bop.

Watching the Detectives: Beware the Batman Ep5 "Broken"

"I am the eggman... goo goo g'joob!"

Lyco the Bat Hound is skipping over episode 4 due to falling so behind, and having Silver Monkey as the guest villain says it all really. Last week’s Humpty Dumpty got rid of the bad taste from the Anarky episode. If Humpty ever surfaces in a live action production Warner Bros. definitely needs to grab Bruce Willis to bring the character’s proper balding pathos to the silver screen. Until then, contend yourselves with Seinfeld’s Newman as the Dumpler!

Watching the Detectives: Beware the Batman Ep3 "Tests"

XXXVII

'Men of England, heirs of Glory,
Heroes of unwritten story,
Nurslings of one mighty Mother,
Hopes of her, and one another;

XXXVIII

'Rise like Lions after slumber
In unvanquishable number,
Shake your chains to earth like dew
Which in sleep had fallen on you -
Ye are many - they are few.’

So says dying Hope in Percy Shelly’s The Mask of Anarchy. It’s the kind of sentiment I hoped would be applied to TV’s Anarky.

I hardly expected this version to spout off about Washington Bullets, civilian drone casualties, war on whistle blowers, but the whitewashed declawed one I saw made Dennis the Menace look like Sid Vicious.

I'm not afraid of Beware the Batman... I'm angry! Pogo through the break.

Christmas in July: Pt2 No Moore after this

Move over Bad Santa

Chris Kringle is a dirty bird, didn't I say so? The above is a cover of Grant Morrison and Darick Robertson's 4 issue comic Happy. It sadly wasn't part of my Xmas haul so I can't include it, but it helps put me in a taking the piss outta Santa mood. The blue unicorn winged Happy isn't Photoshopped FYI. Come Dasher and Cupid, and whoever after the jump!

Watching the Detectives: Beware the Batman Ep2 "Secrets"

Ready for 6 Degrees of Batman? So last week was “Watching the Detective”, an unsubtle pun on the Elvis Costello song and Batman being the World’s Greatest Detective, but since Jim Gordon will play a larger role than last week’s 3 sec sound bite in the series, I might as well succumb to the change. Watching the Detectives is a 2007 direct to video film starring Batman Begins’ Cillian “Scarecrow” Murphy. Lucy Lui’s character can be seen as the magic pixie dream girl who, according to film critic Nathan Rabin after seeing Elizabeth Town, is “that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures.” While I think Lucy Lui’s character in Watching the Detectives gives off that vibe, she’s also into playing mental S&M with the film’s male protagonist. Objectifying women kinda ties in with this week's episode. Another couple of degrees; Kristen Dunst from Elizabeth Town starred in the equally awful Spider-Man 3 with the actor who played the most annoying character in That 70s alongside Kurtwood Smith, voice of Jim Gordon. Smith also played a baddie in Robocop, and the title character, Peter Weller, went on to voice Batman in animated version of Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.

For a significant amount of less name dropping join in after the break.

Magnificent7 Pt4: "Death is a Star" so said Joe

Jack Kirby’s Fourth World Omnibus Vol 1

By Jack Kirby and Vince Colletta

Recommended Listening:          Global a Go-Go-Joe Strummer & the Mescaleros (2001)

It’s not easy coming up with companion albums to go with the comics I’ve been reviewing. I’m not getting paid to plug any bands, I don’t consider myself to be a hipster (probably because I don’t even know how to define one) needing to show off my anthems, but for me rock and roll and comics go hand in hand. I’ve always enjoyed listening to music while reading or doing homework when I was in school. Finding a match for essentially The Lord of the Rings of comics had me pretty stumped until today.

Watching the Detective: Beware the Batman Ep1 "Hunted"

It always seems like a good time to be a Batman fan. Whether it’s the truest representation on film of Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams’ dark, yet romantic Byronic hero in The Dark Knight trilogy, the unapologetic love letter to the Silver Age & Dick Sprang that was Batman: The Brave and the Bold, beating up thugs and super villains in the Arkham videogames, or consuming the final issues of Grant Morrison’s epic 6 year run concluding in Batman Incorported, which has been the freshest, healthiest, and most encompassing take on the character throughout his 70ish year history in my humble opinion, Batman is a force to be reckoned with in media. Yesterday, I got to see the latest addition to his long and celebrated animated history. With Beware the Batman I can fearlessly say, “Holy Fulfilled Expectations!” Hop into the Batmobile for the rundown after the break. Beware Bat-Spoilers!

Christmas in July: Pt1 Everything You Want & Moore

Did Santa forget to bring you a Turbo Man doll? He’s senile Commie Pinko pedo, George Baily killing, Fortress of Solitude stealing, Deniro deer hunter slaver, and a shameless Coke fiend promoter. Sure it’s a cliché to say, but Xmas is truly the most cynical time of the year! Welcome to Christmas in July all the way from rain soaked Japan. Let’s “organize some distance” cause “I won’t be home for Christmas”… but that’s BS since LYCO BOND WILL RETURN IN LYCO’S FAMILY CHRISTMAS VACATION coming out in December, 2013.

I can spit on Jolly Nick, Black Friday, and radio season songs (With the exceptions being Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” & Tom Petty’s “Christmas All Over Again". I hope that reindeer backed over Granny after the head on collision), but I enjoy plenty of eggnog, A Christmas Carol (The black & white one and Muppets!), and spending time with loved ones as much as anyone.

Being home for the holidays made me really appreciate Amazon domestic delivery prices, comic shops, and the wonderful socialist services provided by my local public library. I also got to reread a lot of my favorite collections from the dusty bookshelf in my stately suburban home. 

Below is a list of books I got while stateside that I had never read, which I brought back with me to enjoy. The books that made the list have kind of been forgotten or not talked about enough. Well, that ends now! Run run, REDRUM Rudolph after the jump!